What is Sex Therapy? A Friendly Guide to What It Actually Looks Like

What is Sex Therapy?

Written by Daniel Oommen

Sex therapy can sound a little intimidating or mysterious at first. A lot of people aren’t quite sure what to expect. At its core though, sex therapy is simply a form of talk therapy that focuses on your sexual wellbeing. Nothing sexual happens in the room. There’s no pressure to perform or share anything you’re not ready to.

Instead, it’s a space where you get to talk, reflect, and gently unpack parts of your sexual life that might feel confusing, stressful, or disconnected. It’s about understanding what’s going on for you in a way that feels supportive, respectful, and free of shame or judgment.

Why People Come to Sex Therapy

People come to sex therapy for all kinds of reasons, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” one. Low sex drive is one of the most common concerns. Others notice that anxiety, pressure, or past experiences make it harder to feel desire or enjoy sex the way they want to.

Sexual pain is another big reason people seek support. Things like vaginismus, pain during sex, erectile difficulties, or delayed orgasm can really impact confidence and relationships. These experiences are far more common than most people realize. Sex therapy can help you understand what’s happening in your body and work toward healing and connection at a pace that feels right for you.

Exploring Identity, Desire, Kinks, and Fetishes

Sex therapy is also a space for curiosity. That might mean exploring your sexual orientation, questioning aspects of your gender, or getting clearer about your desires, kinks, or fetishes. Many people carry a lot of shame around these topics, even when nothing about them is wrong.

Therapy can help you unpack where that shame comes from, learn how to talk about your desires, and better understand what actually feels authentic and aligned for you.

Navigating Sex After Trauma

Sexuality after trauma can feel especially complicated. You might want closeness or intimacy, but your body responds with fear, numbness, tension, or shutting down. That can feel confusing and frustrating, especially if you don’t understand why it’s happening.

A trauma informed sex therapist can help you make sense of these responses, rebuild a sense of safety in your body, and slowly reconnect with pleasure in a way that feels grounding and empowering. There is no rush and no pressure to push past your limits.

Support for Compulsive Sexual Behaviours

Some people seek sex therapy because they feel stuck in sexual patterns that feel hard to control, such as compulsive sexual behaviours or concerns often described as sex or porn addiction. Therapy isn’t about shame or punishment. It’s about understanding what’s underneath those patterns. Together, you can explore emotional needs, coping strategies, and relational dynamics, and work toward a healthier and more intentional relationship with sex and pleasure.

How Sex Therapy Can Help Couples

Couples also come to sex therapy when they want to feel closer and more connected. You might be navigating mismatched desire, different interests, or communication patterns that make sex feel stressful instead of enjoyable.

Some couples are exploring non monogamy. Others are trying to reconnect after betrayal, major life changes, or having a baby. Sex therapy can help partners understand each other more deeply, talk about hard things more openly, and rebuild intimacy in a way that feels supportive and intentional.

What the Process Is Like

At the heart of sex therapy is openness, curiosity, and collaboration. You set the pace. Your therapist is there to listen, ask thoughtful questions, and help you make sense of your experiences. There’s no pressure to share everything at once or go faster than you’re ready for.The goal is to help you feel more connected to yourself, your body, and your relationships in ways that feel sustainable and affirming.

If you’re curious about whether sex therapy might be a good fit for you, the team at Collective Healing is here to support you. You can reach out at connect@collective-healing.ca to be connected with a sex therapist. You deserve a space where your sexuality and wellbeing are met with warmth, care, and respect.